Inspired by the life experiences of the author and others who had narcissistic or toxic parents
This is a tale of two girls who were born on the same day in the same place, but grew up in dramatically different households. It is a comparison of the torture of having a narcissistic mother and enabler father and the validation and support that comes from nurturing parents. If you were raised in a toxic family or care about someone who was, then this book was written for you. This story gives voice to the agony of invalidation, the confusion of manipulation and the longing of a child for the love of a parent. It also demonstrates the comfort, confirmation and care that are provided by a nurturing parent or a loving friend.
You can purchase this book in paperback or ebook form at Booklocker. You can also purchase it at Amazon or your favorite bookseller.
What People Are Saying About This Book:
"There is no doubt that the responsibilities that come along with being a mother are enormous, however, when a mother is unaware of her narcissistic traits, it is the child whose life is inundated with the burden of managing the unimagined unmanageable. Narcissistic parents mask what strangers might interpret as a desire to help, through covert abuses of power engineered to intimidate a child into submission, designed to emulate, as well as mask insidious cravings for a parent's narcissistic supply. Prepare to have your eyes peeled, your hearts melted and your awareness expanded as you read this book. Janet Christy's characters will reveal to you the tragedy, as well as the triumph of children born to parents who are unaware they are unaware."
Lisa A. Romano Life Coach Author of the bestselling book The Road Back to Me https://www.lisaaromano.com
https://innertoxicrelief.com/I was mesmerized while reading Torture or Nurture: A Tale of Growing Up by Janet Christy. Christy has done an incredible job representing two very different lives: one of a child with loving parents as compared to the child of a narcissist and her narcissistic enabler. There were several occasions where I was moved to tears as I read of experiences that so closely mirrored my own childhood. I was quite simply transported back to that very painful time of my life.
As the child of a narcissistic mother, I know all too well what it’s like to have my mother see me as only an extension of herself. I found myself openly weeping when little Ellena, at the tender age of 7-years-old, already understood that she was not allowed to be the center of attention. The story Janet has related is exactly what I experienced growing up.
In another part of the book, poor Ellena hears her mother discussing sending her away. “As she sat in the big chair she felt as if she was growing smaller. She was also having trouble breathing. She wanted to run into the dining room and beg her mother not to send her away. She also wanted to go to her room and never come out again.”
I can’t count the number of times I felt so small and as if I couldn’t breathe. I felt as if I didn’t have the right to live, to be who I was, and to express my own feelings. I never felt welcome in my own home. I didn’t know that wasn’t something that every child feels. I too had a friend like Arialle, whose parents truly loved her and made her feel wanted. It was the experiences of my Arialle that made me finally realize something was wrong with my mother. Janet Christy has quite simply brought my childhood experiences to life in this moving fictional account based on her own life. She has got it exactly right.
If you’re the child of a narcissist or unfortunate enough to have a narcissist in your life, I highly recommend you read this book. It will give you insights you never realized into how this devastating mental condition has affected your life. I know you’ll find it as revealing, inspiring, and moving as I did, and I know it can help you process your feelings. It helped me. As always, I would love to hear your feedback about how you experienced this profound account of two very different lives and how it has helped you. Visit innertoxicrelief.com to contact me and give me your impressions of this incredibly poignant story.
No one should ever have to feel the way little Ellena did, but unfortunately, narcissism is all too common. Christy has developed a wonderful way to process the hurt that comes from a childhood where you were nothing more than an extension of your narcissistic parent, a tool to prop up their self-esteem. Bravo, Janet Christy, and thank you!
Patricia Edwards
Narcissistic Abuse Survivor
Read more tales and insights on narcissistic abuse on Janet's Blog.
Click here.
For anyone who has experienced the abuse of a narcissist, you will completely relate to this book. For those who haven’t, you’ll learn a lot! I love how the author tells the story of two families and the stark contrast of the daughter who does not have to face narcissistic abuse vs. the one who does, and the way their lives are intertwined. For the daughter of the narcissist, there are so many nuances, like coping by compartmentalizing, having to defend memories, trying so desperately to do things right and prove worthiness, submission, etc., all of which are very therapeutic to read in a telltale story form. Kudos to the extraordinary sensitivity of the author who truly captures how narcissism plays out in family dynamics, and how victims must find ways to cope. An incredible read!
Shirley Laffa, Author of …But It’s Okay If I Do It: True Confessions of an Unintentional A$$HOLE
